SSDD

10:44 pm - what am i doing?

So here i sit in my parents home - babysitting an 11 yr old who is crazy- Oh well- I feel like I have no contact with the outside world sometimes. I dont do anything. I work about 9hrs a week making $25/hr- And Dominick, who has moved down here to Texas from Massachusets to be with me is working at Hooters as a cook every night making $8/hr- We pay our bills, buy pot, groceries,gas,cigs. And ocassionaly go to dinner and a movie- Other than that I freaking sleep till noon, smoke- walk around my apartment complex in shitty conroe texas, and have been watching way to many movies lately on my couch. I feel dead inside- Its not like I think that stopping going to school was my downfall- Its just that I have a very bad problem with just cutting people out of my life- I barely have any "true" friends- the only people i truly trust is family-I have no idea why that is- but i do know that it makes for a very lonely life- i dont think im depressed- just lazy, bored, and sloth like- I wish that I could actually do something- other than just teach dance- mabye just something locally in houston- oh wait thats my other problem- the car that i bought for myself when i got home from the pillow this summer is a stick shift- and i cannot drive it- for some reason i am scared to death of that car- it is a complete piece of shit- and i cant go anywhere on my own- Dominick has to chauffer me everywhere- i have been working out though- i want to audition- I want to dance- I want to do something- I need a life- jtm

Current Mood: discontent

07:39 pm - almost done

So the summer is almost over here at jacobs pillow- and even though it was a much diffrent summer than last year- i still had a really good time- a new boy here- One who has never been to Texas in his life and is coming home with me to live in Texas- crazy i know- but i dont care- I am excited about going into the heat again - as ridiculous as that sounds- its going to be a good time- swimming and being a bum- while teaching dance and drinking- thats what the fall has in store for me- as well as the new man- hopefully i will decide to go back to school in the srping- but who knows for now?- content with life and money and love- all is well- back home in 2 weeks!

Current Mood: peaceful

04:10 pm

You Are Tequilla

When you drink, you're serious about getting drunk! You'll take any shot that's offered up to you... Even if it tastes like sock sweat! And you're never afraid of eating the worm.

01:29 pm - so happy

well life couldnt be any better then it is right now-
I talked to lou and Im going back to the pillow this summer- yee haw- im taking this semester off from school because sam houston did actually suck that bad - and when i get home this summer im moving into an apartment downtown with jessica and we will be soo happy!!-
but now i just sleep till noon, work 10 hours a week- at $20 an hour- and smoke all frekin day- my mother keeps nagging me to get a day job- but why the fuck would i want to do that? I have enough money to get me everything i need and i live with her so-
yeah im happy as a lark!
Also i have become rather content in the single life at the moment-
I mean yes i am always looking for that new mr. right, but none have come around so far- and im not even going to try to start dating some guy that " i guess will do for now"- yeah right im not wasting my time dating someone i might get along with.
I also have learned in the past 2 months that sex is just sex sometimes- somethng that both people need and want- and these are the things i tell myself in order for it to be ok that i slept with the ex over thanksgiving and christmas break- oh well it was really good sex and i hadnt done it in a year- can you belive that shit a year- and of course when i told him that his mouth just dropped- anyways thats it for now-
life couldnt be better, im lazy,poor,a pothead,single, and horny- but hell im olny 19 and i still look good- so im not complaining at all-

02:38 pm - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok so i am soo freaking pissed off beacuse i just typed all this crap to update this page - i pushed soemthing wrong and then it dissaperd- it was really long and talk about the top seven things i learned this semester- aaahhhhhhh- i am soooo mad know and i have to go to class and i dont have time to re type all that shit again omg!!!!- anyways i will try and do it later god damn i am so freaking mad

Current Mood: angry

10:00 am - her mel and jen!!

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07:53 am - today is friday

another day of not going to classes and i ask myself- why are you here?
i really want to go to massachusets and stay with jen- i want to see it in the fall- i know it would make me fall in love even more than i already am- im so tempted to just move up there-
anyways things here at sam are fine i guess- talking to the boy- hes fun- but quite a drinker- we shall see how it goes- im not really putting alot of effort into anything at the moment- oh well- another day of naps and waffles- peace out
jamie

Current Mood: groggy

01:18 am - why am i awake?

one word to describe the weekend-
high

01:33 am - finally

yeah for jamie-
so i met a boy finally
his name is drew and he is a soccer player
he has long shaggy hair
and he's really tall
and soo funny
anyways im a happy girl for now
im really starting to like school- i have been to alot more social functions aka-parties- and im meeting alot of really cool people- maybye sam wont be so bad after all-ok peace out-
jamie

11:16 pm - fake blonds are the root of all evil

so yeah i was stood up tonight- and not by a guy either
but by a girl by the name of sunni
this whore asked if i would go out with her and her friends to the fox tonight- i even called her when i got home from teaching dance
she was like- oh yeah- im getting ready- you should start to get ready too- i will call you in 30 min and i will come pick you up- well yeah- she never did- so yeah here i sit all dressed up with nowhere to go - i feel like a loser- now i have to wash my face and go to bed- uhhhh- well im gonna stop complaning- i get to see brandon boyd tomorrow- ok well im gonna go smoke a cigarette and go to bed- peace out
-jamie